I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
it glows. i had to have it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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