if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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