When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
