OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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