Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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