But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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