We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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