if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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