sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize