I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
