That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
