i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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