why didn't you poke me back
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
