I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
