Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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