nutella sex= disaster
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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