We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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