my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize