if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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