the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
