Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
