alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Holy sore nipples Batman
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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