she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
