if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she was so not down for the gang bang
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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