Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
