And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
