so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
