So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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