We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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