Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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