How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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