By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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