He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
