you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
