please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My balls are so social today.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
