ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
