Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
