matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
