Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
