Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
