i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
