yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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