pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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