dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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