its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
