Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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