I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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