it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
