too bad you live with your parents still
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
