The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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