I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
