All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
