you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I deserve this hangover.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
