Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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