and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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