$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
