I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
